One of Those Days
by The Crow and the Butterfly
Summary: A reluctant chat: Chick friends, nurse outfits, masochism, and the many indignities of being twelve. “Can you not be a pedo for like, three seconds?” One-Shot.


So, while I should have been writing the third chapter of Wherever She Goes, I:

a) Obsessed over finishing the sixty-five chapters that are currently scanned of my third favorite manga, and

b) Started several one-shots that I am now about two hundred words into. This was one of them.

I enjoy writing dialogues, and that's mostly what this is. The idea came from a bit in the fanbook in which Tono mentions that he and Tsubasa had had a discussion that somehow involved Misaki and nurse outfits. This is my version of how that came about (plus, like, nine hundred words).

* * *

Being the new kid was one of those things about life that undeniably sucked. It's one thing if you're a middle-school transferee in the real world, but it's another completely different one when you're fifteen years old, get dragged away from your family and your life to go to some boarding school for freaks, and your class hasn't had a new student in it since elementary school. And when everyone has weird powers and yours just happens to get you stuck in the "dropout class," then, well, forget it. Technically, he was still the new kid, even after a year. He would forever be the new kid, unless someone with a really obscure alice showed up sometime in the next four years. And that was only one of the twenty-four reasons why Akira Tonouchi was extremely unsatisfied with the way his life was going. The fact that he had enough time on his hands to count the reasons was number twenty-two.

He had fancied himself a hell-raiser. In all honesty, he was more of the type who simmered privately in his angstiness (whether that was a word or not) and took it out on elementary students from time to time. As one of those elementary students had dared to tell him, he had been best described as an "arrogant prick who bullied eleven-year-olds for fun."

At the time, he laughed. Whatever he had been expecting as he watched her swell in anger probably contained the word "meanie."

"You've got guts, kid," he had told her. She smiled back in a sarcastic way that actually scared him a little bit.

"I know," she grinned, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Now, it'd be nice if you would leave me alone." Not that he would say it out loud; he had known that this intrepid little girl was right. That didn't stop him from messing with her friends, though. After an unfortunate incident with "that damn stuffed animal" that he preferred not to remember, there was no way he was going to let them off. Especially the cheeky one with the stupid-looking hair.

Strangely, he enjoyed watching them. That was another thing he'd never tell anyone; they'd think he was a stalker or something, but he couldn't help it. Every now and then he'd see them during ability class or underneath a tree on a Sunday morning, and it would strike him for the hundredth time that that poor boy was useless with girls. Tono was never one for intervention, especially in the case of this child who had called him a "man-slut" on at least one occasion. It was odd, the spunk and outspokenness that he had admired in the girl; he was annoyed by in the boy. But that was the point. He kind of liked the girl, he told himself. This was for her benefit. And maybe to get both of them out of his way.

On a perfectly good Tuesday afternoon, Tsubasa Andou was minding his own business. Other people's business was seldom interesting enough to bother with, so there wasn't much else to mind besides his own. Sadly, his own business wasn't too exciting either. As a result, he was often bored.

He sighed in exasperation, leaning back and hitting his head on the stone column behind him. Boredom was a state that didn't suit him very well.

Tsubasa was also currently alone. He was alone half the time as well, because the people he tended to hang out with (and by people, he meant Misaki) usually had excuses along the lines of "I have other friends besides you, you know" or "I've got something to do, now stop complaining" or "I actually care about my math grade." And, so it goes, he was left to occupy himself in whatever way he could think of. He was sitting on the ground, against a wall, staring at his feet. Imagination wasn't his forte.

"This sucks," he complained to no one in particular, absently uprooting a few blades of grass.

"Tell me about it."

He jumped, squinting up at the person above him.

"Oh," he muttered. "It's you."

"Glad to see you too," replied Tono, rolling his eyes. "Mind if I sit?"

"Kind of, yeah."

"Well, tough." The older boy slid down the wall, draping an arm casually around his bent knees. The younger one ignored him completely. Tono sighed dramatically and raked a hand through his hair. He probably should have thought out what he was planning to say before it came time to say it. Thinking ahead had never been a specialty of his, so, thankfully, winging it completely had become one.

"So…" he began. "What do you think about girls?"

Tsubasa groaned, looking up at him with an expression that pleaded for mercy. "What are you getting at?"

"It's a fair question. Now answer it."

He stared down at his fingernails, pretending to think. "You mean, like, one specific girl, or just any one?"

Tono huffed in exasperation. "Girls in general, I guess."

"I don't know. Girls are girls." Tsubasa narrowed his eyes at his companion. "Something wrong with that?"

Tono rested his chin in his hand, watching a tree in the distance wave in the wind. "You don't ever think about sex and stuff at all?"

Tsubasa grimaced, slumping lower until he was nearly flat on the ground. "I knew you were going to get to this."

"Yes or no?"

"I'm twelve."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"I don't know!" shouted Tsubasa. "I don't know, okay!" The older boy jumped at the sudden outburst.

"Jesus," he muttered. "You don't have to get so loud about it."

"Sorry," Tsubasa hissed back. "Why are you even bringing this up, anyway? Don't you have anything better to do than give some kid a sex talk?"

"Sadly, no." Tono heaved a sigh for what felt like the millionth time. "Anyway, I've been watching you with that Misaki girl, and—"

"You've been watching us? Doesn't that strike you as creepy?"

"That's not the point. Has it ever occurred to you that you are hopeless at romance?"

Tsubasa rolled his eyes, making sure that the gesture didn't slide unnoticed by his senpai. "Can we please not relate Misaki to romance?"

"You know," said Tono, neither meeting his eyes nor answering the question directly. "I think you two'd make a cute couple."

"Shows how much you know," Tsubasa scoffed. "She talks to me about PMS, okay! A girl doesn't have romantic intentions if she does that. I'm a twelve-year-old boy! I shouldn't even know what PMS is!" By this time, he had pushed himself back up to a sitting position, though his head was pressed into his folded arms.

Tono exhaled sharply. "This could be bad. In a few years, if this keeps going on, she could be telling you about other guys she screws around with." He laughed mercilessly at the horrified expression at the other boy's face.

"A few years?" Tsubasa gasped hysterically. "I'm—"

"Twelve, I've heard. I don't know, she could end up pretty hot…" He yelped in pain as Tsubasa jabbed him violently in the ribs.

"Can you not be a pedo for like, three seconds?"

"I'm not a pedo," he grumbled. "I'm just telling the truth."

A heavy, suffocating blanket of silence fell over the two. Tsubasa coughed nervously.

"Is that all?"

"I don't know…" Tono trailed, glancing around furtively and digging a battered cigarette box out of his pocket. The younger boy watched him closely, following his movements as he flicked on a lighter.

"Gimme one."

Tono raised an eyebrow, the flame from the lighter still flickering in his hand. "You mean one of these?"

"Duh."

"You do know it's not actually allowed, right?"

"Exactly."

He brushed his hair out of his eyes, his face twisting into a wry sort of smile. "So, you're one of those people."

"What d'you mean?" wondered Tsubasa, bristling at the tone.

"You're one of those people who does stuff just to piss other people off. Aren't you?" Tono took the stunned silence from his companion as agreement, and settled comfortably back against the wall.

"Well…" stammered Tsubasa. "Can I still have one?"

"No," confirmed Tono. "Just because I'm stupid enough to fuck up my lungs doesn't mean you have to be." Tsubasa mumbled something under his breath that Tono couldn't quite catch, and blew his bangs off his forehead. They lapsed into another wave of silence, just as awkward as the first. This time, however, it was Tono who broke it.

"Huh. So what do you think about… I dunno…" he tilted his head in thought, "those frilly little French maid outfits?" Tsubasa choked on what was most likely his own spit.

"Where did that come from?"

"Oh, I don't know…" said the older boy. "Just trying to think of something to talk about."

Tsubasa turned his red face, scooting a few feet away. "That's so weird."

"Yeah, I suppose. They wouldn't really suit Misaki-chan anyway." Tono ignored the hysteric protests of "Shutupshutupshutup" and continued to himself. "Hmm… Maybe a… no, how about… how about a nurse outfit. That could do. Kind of ironic, considering she probably does more harm to you than good, but, that makes it work, sort of." He turned to Tsubasa. "What say you?"

"I say Misaki would kill you if she heard. And me, while she's at it."

Tono moved his chin back into his hand, observing the boy on his left. "You know, I don't know if this relationship is doing you any good at all. Does the word 'masochist' mean anything to you?"

"I'm twelve. What do you think?"

"I know it sucks to be twelve, but you can't use that as your excuse for everything. Just answer the damn question."

"I know what a masochist is, moron."

"Are you not making the connection here, then?"

Tsubasa's voice lowered at least an octave. "Just because I hang around with her and she hits me and stuff sometimes, that doesn't mean I like it any."

"Fine then. You still hang out with her regardless, so it could mean you're blind with love, I guess," here he backtracked, "Well, definitely not blind, more like numb, but still. And if that's the case, then you like it anyway, which still makes you a—"

"You know what? You're an idiot."

Tono puffed frustratedly. "So I've been told."

"Really? By who?"

"You."

"Oh, right." Tsubasa stared down at his knees glumly, but whipped his head up within seconds. "I still don't like her, you know," he said, jut in case it hadn't sunk in.

"If you don't admit it," chuckled Tono. "I may have to disown you."

Tsubasa raised an eyebrow. "Disown me as what, exactly?"

"As my dear kouhai, duh."

"Since when was I your 'dear kouhai?'"

"Since I was born before you."

"No, not like that," The younger boy explained as if to a two year old. "I mean, like since when were we, like friends?" Tono burst out into laughter, ruffling Tsubasa's hair.

"You're so cute," he beamed.

Tsubasa shrunk back indignantly. "So now you're a gay pedo? That's even worse."

"Geez," muttered Tono, retracting his hand. "You're so rude. But, y'know, you're actually not that bad."

"Thanks," said Tsubasa, somewhat reluctantly. "You're not that bad either." The boy in question grinned widely, but Tsubasa had yet to finish. "For a man-whore." Tono visibly wilted.

"This is stupid," he pleaded. "Can't we just be friends?" Tsubasa looked up at him, his expression closest to irritated.

"Sure. Fine. Whatever. Can you go find something else to do, now?"

"Whatever you say." Tono heaved himself up from his sitting position, and crossed his arms. "Bye, then. Have fun… alone… all by yourself…"

"You're not going to guilt me into hanging around with you, you know. Go find some girl to play with."

"Sure. Where's Misaki-chan?"

"I meant someone who's not—"

"Let me guess. Twelve."

Tsubasa groaned. "Just go away."

"Fine. Jesus."

* * *

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Tono? No? Well, whatever. I'm sure nobody cares anyway.

I find it strange how I tend to write about people giving advice, but the advice-givers that I choose most likely don't have any idea what they're talking about. I suppose it's funnier that way. I can't write anything serious at all without sticking in sarcasm or actual blatant humor. Not that this was intended to be serious. God forbid.

I've referred multiple times to an incident that took place between Tono and Bear... Perhaps I'll write about that someday...

So, here goes the obligatory concluding statment about reviews: hope you enjoyed this, and review if you feel like it.


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